waddling into the third trimester

i’m feeling quite rotund these days. ned came home from work last week, looked down at my belly, and said, “something has changed.” and i said, “seriously? since yesterday? huh. i agree.” this baby (who is a girl, by the way. have i said that here yet?) is making herself known. i keep looking back at photos of me pregnant with josephine (when we took weekly shots of my belly — how first time parents of us) and comforting myself that i’m not really bigger than i was then. and that i’m probably not going to end up ginormous. but it feels like a distinct possibility whenever i look down.

i’m 27 weeks today and trying to remind myself that this is the blissful part. everything — eating a full meal, rolling over in bed, washing my nether regions in the shower, putting on socks, walking more than a block, etc. etc. etc. — will get more tricky. and i’m trying to enjoy this reasonably comfortable stage without focusing too much on the discomfort. which means, i suppose, that i just released you from having to read a list of pregnancy-related complaints.

josephine has been nothing but excited about becoming a big sister. she once made one less-than-happy comment about how when the baby comes we won’t take care of her anymore. i believe she said this while i was literally wiping her butt. “oh, don’t worry, sweetie,” i smiled through the stink, “we’ll always take care of you.” and she smiled back and went immediately back to her optimistic projections about the future; giving her sister rides on her back in the yard, helping me nurse her (?), singing her songs. she frequently gives me a hug and then gives the baby a hug, murmuring, “i love you already, baby.” sadly, she usually does this right after being a total twerp, so it doesn’t make my heart melt quite as much as it should…

i don’t know how to wrap my mind around another person being in this family of ours, can’t quite picture how it will all go. so i don’t try too hard to do so.

instead, i have spent a few wakeful middle-of-the-night hours as my mind plays out various getting-to-the-hospital scenarios. josephine’s birth was a reasonable 12 hours long and that gives me (misplaced?) reason to believe that this little person will make her arrival in an even more expedient fashion. a friend of ours just had her second child after 2.5 hours of labor. 2.5! i don’t think we could get josephine where she needed to be and get to the birth center in that amount of time. and of course seattle’s had numerous bouts of crippling traffic lately; where one accident on the highway slows down traffic on arterials all over the city. in my mind, in the middle of the night when reasonable thoughts are nowhere to be found, labor will happen like this: in the middle of the night i’ll suddenly be doubled-over by labor like a woman on a tv show, our friends who are scheduled to take josephine will be unexpectedly out of town, we can’t untangle her car seat straps to give her seat to other friends we wake up in the middle of the night, there’s one of those horrible traffic catastrophes and the best route to the birth center involves crossing lake washington twice and the baby is delivered roadside by a passing vagabond who once watched a movie that had a birth scene. seriously.

oh, and we have no idea what we’re going to name her.

but we’re good. i’m good. this big belly of mine is very good.

One Response to “waddling into the third trimester”

  • Erika Says:

    Passing vagabond! Passing vagabond! I love the image so much. You’ll be so disappointed after your uneventful birth comes to pass without any of those visions becoming reality.