on pregnancy

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my days with this belly are numbered. i’m due in 11 days. i’m so curious to meet the little person who’s in there. i know she likes kicking and pushing her butt against the wall of my uterus. and i know she doesn’t sleep through the night. she gets the hiccups at least once a day. but what does she look like? how much hair does she have? how big is she? is there any chance we’ve managed to thwart genetics and have a blue-eyed child? despite my curiousity, though, i’m also grateful for each day that i have before she arrives. days to cross things off the to-do list, to enjoy some semblance of autonomy, to sit with josephine on the couch and read a book, to make dinner for my family without interruption, to carry this baby around in a way that makes me sore and achy but is simple (and she’s so quiet).

ned and i went to a refresher birth class this morning for second-time parents and it was so nice to spend a few hours remembering josephine’s birth and focusing on our intentions for this new creature’s arrival. my thoughts about birth have thus far been focused on fears of delivering the baby on the side of the road in a horrible traffic jam. i’m starting to diversify my thoughts around labor and am feeling more optimistic that it might actually happen at the birth center where it’s supposed to.

i’ve had a few days when i felt all day like labor was imminent. and then the next day felt normal again. it’s such a crazy waiting game; i’m attuned to every creak and cramp of my stretched body. i trust that i will know when i’m actually in labor, but that doesn’t stop me from wondering about any sensation that feels slightly different from the norm.

so we wait and wonder. and get things crossed off the list. and wonder and wait some more, debating name options and planning out the multitude of hugs and kisses we’ll give this baby.

3 Responses to “on pregnancy”

  • Erika Says:

    Oh! All the feelings! And the waiting! And my heart is just so…with you. And full. And excited to meet her too…I love, love, love you.

  • Eleanor Says:

    Dear Oma,
    I wish you well on this new journey. I have been thinking of you this morning wondering if you were do.

  • Christina Says:

    The KC cousins and fam can’t wait to hear your good news!